Omni – Flipper, Washed Up
This was Terry’s favorite, profiling has-been animal actor Flipper — now a joke in the Hollywood community. He anticipated Bojack Horseman by 25 years.
Today’s Chicago Womanizer
In 1987, Terry served as Editor in Chief of this April Fool’s parody of Today’s Chicago Woman. It is just as puerile and of-its-time as you might imagine.
Wonder What Men Really Want for Christmas?
Opposite sex Wonder what men really want for Christmas? Here’s one guy’s opinion Look, you’ve got a lot on your mind, so I don’t want you to spend endless hours agonizing over what to get me for Christmas. Chances are, if I leave it up to you, you’ll blow it anyway....
How to Fake Romance
Ah, romance. According to reliable sources it’s the newest yuppie trend, coveted and pursued by men and women alike. Nobody is entirely sure why trendy people in Benetton jogging suits are swooning left and right, hoping some romantic fool will catch them before they...
Omni – The Immortal Bud Carter
“I want to do all the old-people things I see on TV. I want to be set in my ways. I want to repeat myself a lot. Old age is wasted on the elderly.”
Omni – The Wrong Stuff
“He possesses that elusive, nameless substance that no one talks about, thinks about, or even thinks about talking about. He has a major helping of the wrong stuff.”
Should You Run for President?
Terry was a frequent contributor to Today’s Chicago Woman in the ’80s. Here’s one of his humor pieces, with a topic that remains timely…
Omni – Whale Hating
One of Terry’s favorite opening sentences: “Sitting there, bound to a crude wooden chair by leather straps, I began to question the career choice I had made so many years before.”
Omni – Lovesickness
“Deane suffered from an affliction more common than measles, more deadly than bubonic plague, more stupefying than a subscription to Reader’s Digest. Deane was in love.”
